


our infinite universe

by sugarhyuck



Series: against the world. [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Cosmonauts, Fluff and Angst, M/M, mark believes in aliens, mark is donghyuck's star, mark loves hyuck sooooo much, mark proposed on the space awww, markhyuck love each other that's it, space!au nobody asked for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-10-10 17:58:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17430773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarhyuck/pseuds/sugarhyuck
Summary: "say, donghyuck. how do you feel about getting proposed on the outer space?"donghyuck laughed, head thrown back and heart full of happiness."out of this world."





	our infinite universe

**Author's Note:**

> no one asked for this but it happened.

it was one rainy sunday. the cloud hung thickly on the sky as the heavy downpour made its way to the freezing pavement. the wind blew the hair strands on donghyuck's forehead. it made his face damped and eyes itchy. donghyuck doesn't like rain.

he entered the warm bakery he used to go everyday. the smell of cinnamon barged to his sense like a warm christmas morning back at his home. donghyuck grabbed one of his favorite bagel from the display and flashed a smile to the cashier. he took the secluded seat on the bakery's corner and watched the drop of rain on the window. the boy tried to count how many drip are the cloud's tears, before the small tv on the other side presented the daily news. but instead, that day, it was written boldly as 'BREAKING NEWS'

an earthquake, with the intensity of 18 magnitude, shook half the world off, gone like puffs of smoke from cigarettes his dad used to blew on their home's backyard. that was the greatest earthquake ever happened on their planet. he bit his bagel as he tried to listen every word the news anchor said. the dripping sound of rain outside the window grew louder, but all he could hear was his own heartbeat. it clashed with the leveled continents the news anchor was announcing.

"africa, south america, asia, and australia. we are deeply sorry for this matter and may the left ones found their peace."

on the back of his mind, he was reminded about his mom, and her antics of baking at their small old kitchen. the freshly baked pies that was always filled donghyuck's childhood with unlimited love. he thought about his dad, and his undying humours that lightened donghyuck's gloomy days and painted smiles on his lips every time a kid from the block away disturbed him.

and donghyuck hated himself so bad that moment, because he couldn't bring himself to call. instead of reaching for his mother back home, he opted to stare back at the drizzle and the rushing back steps of people on the road. he tried to swallow the pain on his throat, but it traveled back to his eyes and it dripped on his cheek like a crashing downpour.

two days later, he called. but no one answered the phone.

 

ー

 

as soon as he went back to the base, mark pulled him into a tight hug as he whispered unending sorry, and donghyuck's heart ached even more. the strong smell of musk and pinewood tried to comfort him, as well as the gentle pat on his back. he burried his face on the crook of mark's neck as he muttered a small, 'it passed.' mark tightened his embrace.

wong yukhei from the mineral and chemicals department patted his shoulder when they met on the coffee room. the latter smiled lightly, like the gentle flow of the river on the back of his apartment. donghyuck smiled back as he stirred his hot chocolate. "i'm sorry for your family, hyuck."

donghyuck held his hand, it felt colder than his empty bedroom that morning. "i'm sorry for your loss too, yukhei."

as the cause of the earthquake, more than half of world population is dead. the news he watched with jungwoo and mark a week post the earthquake confirmed that there was no single living being from the four continent survived. both cried so hard that morning, even mark's sweet empty words didn't stop them from shaking. 

80% of the natural resources is destroyed. the world is on the verge of dying, and soon the climate will change drastically. the world shifted so much from one accident, donghyuck thought that god was playing with him. but afterall, life was a game.

it took more than sixteen week full of training and learning, that he finally be able to let go. what's gone will never come back, as his mom would say, and donghyuck thought he will finally be fine on one sunny tuesday. 

mark baked him an apple pie that day, but strangely it didn't feel like home. but again, he told himself that it was fine. and when mark held him as he kissed a part of his nape, donghyuck once again felt like he's going to be fine.

 

ー

 

he had nightmare sometimes. on a night when everything felt too much for him to handle. or on some night when the picture of his parents left him painted clearly on his subconscious state. it felt too real.  
it was real.

and he thanked all the god above for sending his mark lee, who stayed through all his tears as he held him closer to home. the older had stayed for a long time, and he told him that he would stay forever.

"i love you. more than you will ever know." mark said as he wiped a heavy rain from donghyuck's eyes. he pulled the younger closer as both stared at the ceiling, which shined brightly as the stars mark painted that evening glowed so beautifully. donghyuck didn't say anything back.

two weeks later, they were sent to the outer space through the joint-manned solar space explorer craft and they finally bid goodbye to the europe space exploration base. the scientists thought that it was finally the moment where they all need to let go and eventually move along. their shoulder carried an even heavier burden, but donghyuck still flashed renjun a smile when the chinese pulled him into a tight hug. he hushed the boy as he silently whispered, 'i'll be back before you know it."

but at a certain moment, his throat grew drier in every second passed as he saw mark's parents waving his son a goodbye from the other side. for the meantime or forever, no one had the answer, and donghyuck didn't really seek for it. mark simply threw him a smile, as he mouthed a soundless "i love you." from his craft that was connected to his. he smiled back and sent mark a message through their connected dsn.

"i know." it showed on mark's screen.

 

ー

 

mark is warm, he was always warm. donghyuck used to think mark is bigger than him. more handsome, more mature, funnier and smarter. all round boy, their neighbourhood moms would say. and donghyuck would wholeheartedly agree.

mark teached him about the world, back then on his bedroom, accompanied with the clashing sound of the wave meeting the shore. he teached him the scary idea of the cold and lonely world, but mark is there, and donghyuck thought the world could be colder.

he teached him about the stars, about the endless posibilities of the universe. about the limitless galaxies he wished to explore one day. as the older's eyes went brighter from every words slipped from his mouth, donghyuck never felt happier than ever.

"i dont understand, mark. you said it is endless. it means we never knew the end of it. leave alone if there even is an end. don't you think it's scary?" the ten-year-old donghyuck asked the golden boy one night, limbs tangled with each other's under the cover of mark's plain black sheet.

"i think it's beautiful. human's nature are curious, after all. our galaxy is just one among millions of it out there. it's such a waste if we dont make it for the best." donghyuck didn't replied to that. instead he stared at mark's bedroom wall that was covered by the poster he got from the old 2004 space magazine.

the silence fell upon them, but neither bring the care to break it. alas, the two scooted even closer to each other and the warm presence of their heart melted into the limitless universe.

"i still think it's scary." donghyuck chipered seven minutes later, and mark laughed. he ruffled the younger's hair and zoned out to the dark sky outside his window. "you just need to see deeper."

 

____

 

mark was always there, he will always be there. but even then, donghyuck was not sure anymore.

after months of exploring the space, the ground control decided that it was finally time to released their two best cosmonaut to travel the other galaxy. the idea were clouded on donghyuck's mind like a foggy window on one rainy sunday morning back at his apartment. his dog, leo, used to rub it's fluffy brown fur on it. the action always leave a trace of an abstract pattern.

the universe is like a crowded highway with an equal heavy traffic. there is millions particel with various sizes move around in a different direction. it clashes on each other throught their drastic different speed. but donghyuck felt even lonelier.

"nervous?" he heared mark's voice rings through the speaker on his tiny spacecraft. donghyuck thought it was funny how they was always joined to the hip back then, and now the only thing that connected them is the small speaker attached to each other's capsule.

"not really. you?" he replied as he opened the newly received message from the ground control.

there's a long pause of silence, it held donghyuck's breath on his throat, as he reminded by the cold and lonely cosmos waiting for mark out there. it's dark, endless, and lonely too.

"i'm just okay."

he's just okay. mark was never just okay.

he always better than ever, than anything, fantastic, spectacular, amazing, beyond everything. he always shined brighter than every star existed on their universe.

"do you remember what you said to me a day before we went away?" donghyuck heard his own voice trembled in doubt, which he considered confusing as well because why would there was need to doubt? they were not given any assurance about this mission, it wouldn't hurt anyone to seek it in other aspect.

from the dsn, he could heard mark's laugh, tiny and static. "that we should get married if we ever make it back home?"

if we ever make it back home. the sentence ringed all over donghyuck's head like a constant reminder of the endless universe. though their space craft was named soter and soteria, which goes by means for safety and protection, he doubted they will ever make it back. 

"did you mean it?"

the dark limitless space in front of him potrayed the image the two sitting on his living room one day, hands tightly wrapped in each other's link as mark carresed his thumb to save him from the nervousness. it slipped so suddenly from mark's lips like an accident confession donghyuck threw to mark back in their high school. "what do you think about spending your lifetime with me?"

donghyuck fidget on his spot, as he tried to fight back a smile that was forming on his face. "like. a marriage?"

"like a marriage."

mark has loved him for a long time. donghyuck wondered if there's still more to spend in a lifetime. the doubt went away along with mark's answer that day. 

"i always do."

from the black screen that was connected to each other's craft, a message arrived like a ocean wave crashing on the sea shore. it sent thrills to donghyuck's blood as his trembling finger opened the message.

"marry me?" it says. 

and donghyuck didn't even think as he replied, "in every universe."

 

ー

 

"say, donghyuck. how do you feel about getting proposed on the outer space?"

donghyuck laughed, head thrown back and heart full of happiness. 

"out of this world."

 

ー

 

the mission of their manned solar space explorer program was to traveled through the time, and the final destination of it was the UGC 4459 galaxy. it is exactly eleven million lightyears away from the consellation of Ursa Major. Donghyuck may be slow at some times, but he didnt spend the twenty-eight training back in the space exploration base just to realized that it was really dangerous. the chance of their success is limited to a highest possibility of 1%. of course, years had passed and new technologies has been invented, but as his astronomy teacher back in his high school day said, intergalactic travel is like an endless maze with no way out.

now the time has come and it's finally the moment where mark and yukhei needed to be released to the outer space. their craft is in the verge of cutted with jungwoo and donghyuck's.

"hey mark." donghyuck greeted to their dns. one minute later, he received an answer.

"yes love?"

donghyuck fidgeted on his place, legs restlessly shaking and heart beats louder than everything he ever heard on his life. "did i ever say how much i love you?"

suddenly, the black screen in front of him showed mark's face with the brightest smile on it. donghyuck felt so warm at the moment as mark grinned to the camera. his face is somewhat blurry, but it didn't despise the happiness radiated from mark's presence.

"hi there." mark greeted. donghyuck giggled as he waved back. "hi. how are you feeling?"

their voice collided with the newly arrived message from the ground control. donghyuck opened the message as he averted back his gaze to mark. the other was still smiling like he didn't need to explore the limitless universe soon. 

"super excited, but nervous. you know?" donghyuck nodded. 

the countdown on the upper screen of their craft showed the number '60' it means they had one minute left before the cosmonaut's departure.

"about your question earlier," donghyuck's heart beats louder than the tickling time above his head. the moment felt unreal so suddenly. "you did. so many times. but it's never enough."

40 seconds. donghyuck stared back to mark's face on the screen. the feeling of sadness merged on every cell on his body and it burned his fingertips that was touching mark's face through the glass.

"i love you." he said.

the line aburptly cutted off and the muffled voice of someone talking on the speaker couldn't reach donghyuck's ear anymore. he didn't catch what the ground control was saying, but he knew. he always knew.

20 seconds. a message showed up on his screen, it came from mark's craft.

'i know.' it typed. and donghyuck just stared at it for like forever, because he really didn't know what to feel.

the green signal above his window flashed a bright color, and donghyuck's trembling fingers landed on the button in his deck that would release mark's craft off from his. it burned on donghyuck's fingertips as he pondered about not doing it. but it's not just about him, not just about mark, but it's about everyone waiting for them.

so when he finally pushed the button, donghyuck could heard his heart broke and shattered to billion pieces like the constellation on the bright sky he stargazed with mark last winter from his balcony.

the capsule went away. it flew through the endless darkness and left donghyuck with an empty feeling on his heart. from the window, he saw mark who shined brighter than every star existed in the galaxies.

 

ー

 

so far, mark crossed another one galaxy, far away from theirs, far away from donghyuck. inhabitated, but not really suitable for humans. he sent the information to the ground control, and the ground control sent his coordinate to donghyuck.

his workspace was quiet, far than he likes it. the only thing he could hear is his own breath, collides with the coldness of the empty space outside. it's dark, even darker than his own bedroom that was beautifully lighted by the stars. mark's star.

mark called five minutes ago. his face showed up on donghyuck's screen, static and tiny. donghyuck asked did he ate yet, and the other proudly showed his energy bar on his hand. mark asked about how donghyuck is doing, and he replied with an unsure "just fine."

but it's donghyuck, who wears his heart on his sleeve. mark could be on the other universe and he will always know that donghyuck isn't okay. but he himself is also scared. no matter how crazy he wanted to wipe the worries on donghyuck's heart, he couldn't. and it made him feel like donghyuck deserved a greater love. 

what he didn't understand was the only one donghyuck wanted is him.

"i wonder what leo is doing right now." donghyuck whispered to no one. the words floated aimlessly on the thick air on his tiny space craft.

"i'm sure renjun is taking a good care of him." mark answered from the line. donghyuck chuckled. "if anything happen to my baby i'll end him."

"you love him. don't be silly."

"i love you more." donghyuck's lips worked faster than his brain, it sent him into a flustered mess upon realizing what he just said. but he didn't regret it. not when he could see mark laughed beautifully like this. the long cold air suddenly felt so warm that minute.

mark's heart was so full of admiration and love towards the younger. how he wished to pull the boy into his embrace right now. but he brushed the thought off. "that gives out your high school confession vibe."

"that was an accident!" donghyuck pouted to the screen. 

"you've been eyeing me since sophomore and i beat you on astronomy class. you were meant to challenged me but instead it came out as an 'i love you?' even the dumb knew, donghyuck."

donghyuck frowned playfully as he pictured himself looking like his dog when it wasn't given it's favorite snack. what mark said is not true, but since he looked so happy about it, donghyuck let it. 

"i hate you."

mark giggled. "i love you too."

 

_____

 

"it's like ross 128b, a little bit colder. but humans hate heat, right?" mark's voice is small, muffled by the static sounds coming from donghyuck's speaker. donghyuck took another bite of his energy bar. "my craft is way colder." he replied.

mark laughed on the other side. donghyuck wondered how can a person be so happy like that? how can a person have so much love for the world when he is the one that deserve all the adoration in the whole universe? donghyuck's heart fluttered, fully by happiness. 

"mine too. and i really want an apple pie right now."

mark found a planet, about a hundred thousand lightyears away from the earth, half from donghyuck. both ponder whether it's suitable for human to live or not, (donghyuck argued "there may be aliens!" which later mark striked back with "we could be friend!" donghyuck rolled his eyes.) but it's all up to the ground command.

both looked outside, and watched the stars flicked around their space craft. it's beautifully breathtaking, something they wasn't used to on earth. from his window, donghyuck saw a columba constellationー it means dove in latin. donghyuck prayed the constellation able to delivered the unspoken words he's too scared to say for mark.

"i wish you were here." the voice rang again, all the way to his small cold work space. donghyuck tightened his blanket draped all over his shoulder, lips tight in line.

"i wish i were there too."

donghyuck recalled once mark said that donghyuck is his whole world. he looked at the boy in the eyes and he wondered, what is a world compared to the universe captivied by mark's eyes. but as always, he didn't said anything.

 

____

 

mark found another planet. a million lightyears away from the earth. it's bright, yellowish orange and warm. most likely so close to earth's characteristic. he sent the information to the ground control. it arrives 2 months later due to the bad radio signal.

their mission shifted from crossing the galaxy to find a new place to live, because sadly the world couldn't held on any longer. the climate changed completely and the 4 cosmonaut's shoulder is loaded with a way heavier burden. it showed so much on mark's face on their last video call a couple months ago. the signal cutted of one day because mark traveled too far from their orbit and the dsn went off after he crossed the milky way.

the ground control sent his coordinate to donghyuck. it appeared largely on his black screen. apparently, mark is two galaxies away.

"it's dangerous." he said to the microphone, hoping it reaches for mark.

three weeks later, he receives a small message on his screen, coming from mark's space craft coordinate. it said 'yukhei and i analysed the composition of this planet. i sent it to the ground control.' which donghyuck replied with 'do you want to adopt another dog once we get back?'

'if that makes you happy.' mark typed back.

donghyuck's message arrived 4 hours later on mark's screen, typed in a really blurry writings. 'what if we never have the chance?' mark replied with the extended outer solar signal. 

'you promised renjun. promises are meant to be kept.'

for a moment, he sat there as he gazed to the empty space. it's so dark and lonely, made him misses his home and the smell of salty sea air on his backyard. he wished for everything to be well, but deep inside donghyuck knew that he wasn't sure to himself either. like the cold limitless universe mark was crossing, the hope didn't reached donghyuck's heart anymore.

a week later, the space ground control sent an attachment to donghyuck's dsn. it was mark and yukhei's coordinate, and apparently they were one galaxy away. later donghyuck learned that the ground control approved the research conducted by their two best cosmonauts. mark and yukhei were pulled back and they will finally be coming home.

 

ー

 

6 months later, their mission is completed. they found a new home for the waiting people back in their planet. their job is done. the new home is waiting. 

but donghyuck and jungwoo still floated aimlessly on the space.

the ground control pulled them back to the earth so many times. donghyuck and jungwoo argued. they stay longer on the space, wander around and searching. they circled the limitless universe for months. donghyuck saw so many stars, they flicked brightly outside his window. but it's not the same. it doesn't feel like home.

mark's last message came 2 months ago. the white sentences appeared on his black screen made him realized that he blamed mark a lot of times for not doing what he should've done for himself. the unspoken apologies turned meaningless suddenly.

'i didn't promised anyone.' mark said.

both two cosmonaut's circuit goes dead on one peaceful evening. it cutted every single communication with donghyuck and jungwoo's space craft. their coordinate is no longer detected. their presence is no longer reachable. donghyuck explored the infinite galaxiesーhe doesn't know how much he passed. he didn't care.

the ground control said it was a dust storm on the border of the milky way, which sent mark and yukhei even further to the other universe. donghyuck believed it was just how promises are meant to be.

mark once said that there is endless posibilities about the life after. donghyuck wondered of there is one for them. the thought faded away with the distance of three million lightyears away from homeーfrom mark. the answer came after he travelled two galaxy.

the sign never arrived. the radio signal never flicked. their hopes never granted.

mark and yukhei never come home.

 

____

 

donghyuck moved in together with jungwoo. they were given a big award for their contribution and they walked the wreaths down the ceremony for mark and yukhei. the scientists went to the planet fs95, building a new life for the left-over population.

fs95. it's the combination of donghyuck's nickname and jungwoo's birthdate. it was given by mark and yukhei on one magical rainy tuesday. the extended outer radio signals turned on and a message arrived to the ground control.

in the end, donghyuck adopted another breed of golden retriever. the puppy got along with leo just fine and donghyuck may shed a tear when he saw the resemblenation of mark's smile on arzue's face when it was running on jungwoo's backyard.

"mark fell in love with the limitless concepts of infinity, to the possibilities of another life after. he thought it was beautiful. i thought it was scary." donghyuck blew on his hot chocolate as he picked up a picture frame from jungwoo's cupboard. autumn has came and the air is colder than how donghyuck used to remember.

from his side, jungwoo nodded his head. his fluffy brown hair neatly swiped back and he tighten his blanket on his torso. "what about you? what do you fell in love with?"

the crashing downpour outside the window stopped for some moment ago, but a bigger storm happened inside his entire being. it pushed donghyuck on the deepest part of his mind, on a space where it was left empty, yet now it filled with a certain familiarity of one boy that was once his home.

he smiled back as he put the frame back to the cupboard. the face of jungwoo and yukhei on the picture stood proudly against the world. he laughed bitterly as a smell of musk and pinewood clouded his blurry eyes.

loving a certain someone burned a part of him, and that part went away together with scattering times that passed when he was busy reminscing about the sparkling stars back at his bedroom ceiling. it took twenty one week for donghyuck to stop crying, and maybe it will take some more for him to let go. but that love once said that if it passed, it's not coming back.

as always, donghyuck didn't answer.

**Author's Note:**

> i re-write the story with the same title because i didn't like the previous version that much, but yeah. kudos and comments are appreciated!💓
> 
> p.s: im def not a scientist neither i understand anything about the outer space, so please dont scream at me for the mistakes.
> 
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/sugarhyuck)


End file.
